yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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