the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Randomize
