His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
