Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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