Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
