So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
