Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
