i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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