It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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