I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.
______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
you never un-have a 4some
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
