I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
