I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
