doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Houston, we have a squirter
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
