Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
