Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
