The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
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