I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
