you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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