Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
