On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Randomize
