Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
you will always have a special place in my vag
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
