im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
