there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
