Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
