Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
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