ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
