i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
