is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
