No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I queefed so loud it echoed.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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