so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Randomize
