those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
