Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
