No awkward lesbian experiences without me
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
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