They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
