Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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