69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
MIDGETS
????
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
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