I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
