If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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