It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
