woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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