Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Randomize
