We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Randomize
