is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
