what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Randomize
