I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
