Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
