my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
