i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize