Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
