i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Randomize
