it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
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