dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
