so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
